


Fortune Has a Fickle Heart

by zapperino



Category: Kung Fu Panda (Movies)
Genre: Childhood, Childhood Friends, Chronic Illness, Gen, Growing Up, Neglect, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25887436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zapperino/pseuds/zapperino
Summary: A story detailing the joys and horrors of Lord Shen's past.This story has been tagged with Wolf Boss/Lord Shen but please note that this is not the focus of this work. Their relationship is mostly platonic with subtle romantic feelings being shared during their youth. There will be no sexual content in this story.
Relationships: Boss Wolf/Lord Shen
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short prologue describing the circumstances of Shen's childhood.

Long ago, in Ancient China, the peacocks ruled over Gongmen City. They brought great joy and prosperity to the city for they had invented fireworks. These fireworks were originally created to ward off the evil Nian, a horrible monster that fed on animals. But as time went on, they discovered the potential to create colorful displays. 

The peacocks were happy with their creation and strove to create something new that would bring them even more joy.

When Lady Peacock laid an egg, a great celebration was held. Everyone in the city was happy for the peacocks.

But when the egg had hatched, the palace was filled with mourning. The peacocks' son was born weak and sick, and completely white. This was seen as a horrible omen, a sign of death and misery. So, from the day he was born, the peacocks feared Shen.

Shen was raised in secrecy, only knowing life within the walls of the palace. His parents wished to avoid him as much as possible as they feared they would catch his illness. And so, a soothsayer offered to raise the child for them.

She taught Shen many things but he soon outgrew the royal library. So the soothsayer began to show Shen the city and teach him about his ancestral home. And, one day, Shen made a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Nian is a beast that lives in the mountains and comes out every year to feed on men. It is afraid of loud noises, bright lights, and the color red. It plays a big part in the celebration of the Chinese New Year.
> 
> In China, the color white is associated with death. It's also associated with innocence, purity, and metal.


	2. Steamed Bean Buns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tashi, the soothsayer, takes Shen on a walk to the city market. There, he meets Zhong and Li, twin wolf pups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zhong is the Boss Wolf and Tashi is the soothsayer. Li is an original character as are all the unnamed animals. 
> 
> In this chapter, Shen is eight (8) years old while Zhong and Li are ten (10). Despite the wolves being older, Shen is a lot smarter than them thanks to his education. He doesn't see them as stupid though.

Shen woke with a start as he heard the door to his room slide open. He sat up quickly and looked to see a rabbit staring back at him.

“My apologies, young lord!” The rabbit stammered out as he bowed. “I came to wake you but I didn’t mean to startle you. Please, forgive me.”

“It’s okay, don’t be scared,” Shen replied, smiling at the rabbit. “Please, come in.”

“Thank you, my lord.” The rabbit said and looked up at the young peacock. He took a step into the room before closing the door behind him. He made his way across the room to a large cabinet. He opened the doors and began to poke through the neatly folded robes inside.

“It’s chilly out today so I’ll add an extra layer for you, my lord.” The rabbit explained as he pulled out a handful of robes.

Shen moved himself to the edge of his bed and kicked his thin legs as he waited.

“Red again?” Shen asked as he looked over the robes in the rabbit’s hands.

“Well, it’s New Year’s tomorrow,” The rabbit explained, setting the robes on the hard bed. “So it’s good luck to wear red, my lord.” He unfolded one of the white under robes and held it up. Shen stood up and stretched out his wings, letting the rabbit do all the work needed to dress him.

Once he was dressed, the rabbit left the room but not without bowing again to the young peacock. Shen spent the few minutes he had alone to mess with his tail feathers. They were just starting to grow in and they constantly needed to be preened. It was a pain but it would all be worth it once they were done growing.

“Young Lord,” A she-goat peeked her head into the dimly lit room. “Would you like to walk with me? We can see how the preparations are coming along for the New Year.” She slid the door open completely when she saw he was up and dressed.

“Nana, call me Shen.” The young peacock replied, hurrying to meet her at the door.

“Oh, but I don’t know if your parents would like that.” She said, offering a hoof for Shen to hold.

“They don’t like anything,” Shen grumbled as he took the goat’s hoof with a wing. “Except fireworks. They don’t even like me.” The goat closed the door as they stepped out into the hall.

“No, they don’t like you.” The goat started before smiling at the peacock. “They love you.” She placed her other hoof on his head and ruffled his crest feathers.

“Nana!” Shen shouted before laughing and covering his head with his small wings.

“Come along now. You want to see the decorations, don’t you?” The goat said as she started to walk away, glancing back at the young peacock.

“Ah, yeah! Don’t go without me!” Shen cried as he quickly fixed his crest and ran to the goat’s side. He grabbed her hoof again with both wings and clung to her as they walked through the house. Several servants were hurrying about and cleaning everything they could reach. They all paused just long enough to bow as Shen passed by before immediately returning to their duties. A few of them even said a quick greeting.

“Good morning, young lord.” One said.

“Happy New Year’s, young lord.” Another said.

Shen didn’t say anything in response. He was taught a long time ago that he wasn’t supposed to talk to the servants. 

They walked outside and the chill of February instantly hit them. They carefully walked past a goose that was painting the threshold with a fresh coat of red paint. The goat led Shen into the courtyard of the palace and down the steps to the heavy gate.

Shen looked around curiously, watching as dozens of servants walked in and out of the palace grounds. Many of them were bringing in food for the New Year’s feast while others were hanging red lanterns. A couple of antelopes were sweeping up the dead leaves of the now bare ginkgo trees. Another goose was painting the threshold of his parents’ home while a pig posted paper cut-outs on the door.

It was all so lively and Shen felt a bit overwhelmed. But he didn’t want his nanny to take him back to his room. He rarely got to go outside the palace grounds so he couldn’t waste this opportunity.

“Tashi, where are you going?” A wolf guard posted at the open gate asked the she-goat as they approached. When he spotted Shen he quickly bowed. “Good morning, young lord.”

“Well, Shen, say something.” Tashi smiled down at the peacock who was hiding behind her. Shen looked at her nervously and she nodded reassuringly. He took a small step forward but still clung to Tashi’s hoof.

“Happy New Year’s Eve,” He replied quietly.

“I’m taking Shen out to see the decorations in the city,” Tashi explained to the guard.

“Is that okay?” The wolf asked, standing up straight. “Shouldn’t he stay inside where it’s warm?”

“It’s my job to worry about those things. Not yours,” She retorted before looking down at Shen. “Let’s hurry and get the first steamed buns of the day.”

“Oh,” Shen looked up at Tashi before smiling and nodding.

“Wait, the young lord hasn’t eaten yet?” The wolf questioned as Tashi led Shen out of the gates. “Tashi, you know-”

“Don’t worry so much!” The goat called back to him and waved. “I’ll bring some back for you.”

The couple continued down the steps that led to the city. There were two buildings on either side of the large staircase. Shen wasn’t quite sure what they were used for but with the number of wolf guards around he assumed that they were barracks.

“Nana,” Shen started as they passed the guards, grabbing Tashi’s attention. “Are you going to get in trouble because of me?”

“Hm?” Tashi hummed before continuing. “No, it’s alright! You don’t worry about me, Shen.”

“Okay,” He replied quietly.

There were a lot more people in the city than there were at the palace. Shen always found that it was crowded when Tashi took him to the market on their rare outings. Today was no exception. The streets were full of life as everyone went about their errands. Everyone had somewhere to be and something they needed to do. It was strange to think that all of those people had their own lives.

Tashi brought him to a street vendor who was selling breakfast to a couple of she-wolves. Their puppies were running about nearby, causing several passersby to trip over them.

“You want a bean bun, right?” Tashi asked, taking her hoof away so she could retrieve her coin purse.

“Yes, please,” Shen answered with a small nod. Tashi gave him a warm smile before stepping toward the vendor, leaving Shen to stand alone a few feet away.

“Hey,” A wolf pup approached Shen, panting. “Are you a ghost?”

“Huh?” Shen looked at the wolf with wide eyes.

“You’re all white. Birds are supposed to be colorful, right?” The wolf questioned as his sister came to join him.

“That’s not true! What about snow geese?” She shouted.

“He doesn’t look like a snow goose.” Her brother replied. “So are you a ghost?”

“What? No.” Shen answered shyly.

“Maybe he’s a swan.” The girl said.

“I’m not a swan either.” He replied.

“Then what are you?” The two pups asked in broken unison.

“I’m a peacock.” He answered hesitantly. The two pups seemed shocked by this.

“No way! If you’re a peacock then that means you’re royalty.” The girl exclaimed, tail wagging wildly. Shen smiled nervously.

“Wait, but aren’t peacocks supposed to have big fantails?” The boy asked.

“Mine’s still growing,” Shen said, feeling a bit insecure.

“Oh, that makes sense.” The boy said.

“But peacocks are colorful birds.” The girl pointed out after thinking for a moment.

“Yeah, that doesn’t answer why you’re all white.” The boy added. Shen suddenly looked very small. His throat hurt and he felt like crying. He knew the answer to their question but… If he told them, they would be scared of him.

“Shen,” Tashi called as she walked back to him. “I got you something to eat. Oh, you made some friends! Hello there.” She smiled at the small wolves.

“Hello, Auntie!” The boy greeted, tail wagging.

“Auntie, do you know why he’s all white?” The girl asked, pointing at Shen.

“Oh, well, that’s not my place to answer. You should ask him yourself, dear.” Tashi replied before placing a hand on Shen’s shoulder. “Why don’t you eat first, Shen? Huh? Shen, what’s wrong?”

Shen was crying at this point. He didn’t want to because it always made people worry and Tashi would probably make him go back home. But he couldn’t help it. The tears just kept coming out.

Tashi pulled him into an embrace and rubbed his back gently. She had an idea of what had upset him and she knew how sore of a topic it was.

“It’s alright, they’re just curious.” She explained softly.

“I know,” He answered shakily between cries. “I don’t mind.”

“Then what’s the matter, dear?”

“If they know I’m sick, they won’t like me!” He bawled, burying his face in her chest. Tashi suddenly looked very solemn. She pet the feathers on his long neck slowly, trying her best to soothe him.

“Zhong, did you hurt someone again?” One of the she-wolves snapped as she approached all of them.

“Huh? I didn’t do anything!” The boy shouted. “He just started crying all of the sudden.”

“Like I’d believe that!” She shouted back at him.

“Please, it’s alright!” Shen let go of Tashi to look at the she-wolf. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Oh, it’s the young lord!” The she-wolf exclaimed as she saw Shen. “Please, forgive Zhong, my lord. He’s a silly boy, always getting into trouble!” She bowed deeply and placed a paw on the back of Zhong’s head to make him bow as well.

“Agh, mom!” Zhong shouted, trying to free himself from her as his sister laughed.

“You must work at the palace if you know Shen,” Tashi commented, wrapping an arm around the young peacock.

“Oh, no, but my husband is a guard.” She explained, looking up at the goat.

“I see,” Tashi said, stroking her short beard with a smirk.

“Please, if Zhong did anything to upset the young lord, I swear-” The she-wolf started but Shen cut her off.

“He didn’t do anything wrong!” He shouted. Everyone looked at him in surprise and he hid behind Tashi shyly.

“Well, if he really didn’t do anything…” The she-wolf let Zhong go and stood up straight, dusting off her robes. “Thank you for being patient with them, my lord. Now, you two, come eat.”

“Aw, but mom!” The girl cried. “He still hasn’t answered our question.”

“Yeah! He said he was sick but that doesn’t explain why he’s all white!” Zhong added.

“That’s none of your business!” Their mother snapped back at them as she started to walk to a nearby table. “Now come eat or the Nian will eat you!”

“Ah! I don’t want to be eaten!” Zhong cried, running to catch up with his mother.

“Wait for me!” The girl called after him before looking back at Shen. “I’m sorry if we made you cry.”

“Uh,” Shen poked his head out from behind Tashi. “You didn’t.”

“That’s good! Bye-bye, little lord!” She waved to him before running off. Tashi chuckled.

“Sweet pups,” She said before looking down at Shen. “Our food must be ready by now. Let’s go sit down.”

Tashi led him to a table nearby, not too far from the one the wolves were seated at, and helped him sit down. The vendor soon came over with their order of bean buns and they started to eat. Shen ate slowly, enjoying the sweetness of the red beans and how steam flowed off the buns into the cold air. Every time he swallowed, he could feel the warmth travel to his stomach and into his soul. It was a happy moment despite what had led up to it. But that just made it sweeter.

“You’re eating well today,” Tashi commented from across the table. “You must feel good.” Shen nodded in response, mouth full of food. The goat smiled before continuing.

“I wanted to take you outside today because being around happy people is good for your health.”

“But nana, you said you wanted to show me the decorations.” Shen retorted after swallowing.

“I do. I want to show you lots of things, Shen.” She replied. “This city has so much to tell, so many stories for you to hear. There’s only so much you can learn inside the palace, even with all your scrolls and books.”

“Experience,” He added. “That’s what you mean, right?”

“That’s a big word.” She chuckled. “Yes, I want you to experience Gongmen City first hand. It is your home after all, and it would be a shame if you didn’t get to.”

“Because I’m inside all the time.” He said.

“Hm, yes.” Tashi lifted her cup of tea and sipped from it. “Shen, I want you to do something for me.”

“Yes, nana?”

“Drink your tea,”

“Uh, okay,” Shen picked up his cup of tea and began to drink it. 

_"She’s probably just worried that I’m getting cold. I was going to drink my tea anyways though."_ Shen thought.

“Don’t drink all of it,” Tashi said.

“Huh?” Shen looked at her curiously. “Nana, what are you asking me to do?”

“Leave about a tablespoon, you’ll understand soon.” Shen didn’t reply but he was still very confused by all this. He drank his tea until there was only a small amount left. He set the cup down and Tashi immediately grabbed it. She swirled the cup around making the tea stir itself. Then she turned the cup over and placed it on the table, spilling the liquid.

“Nana!” Shen went to pick up the cup and Tashi slapped his wing away gently.

“Leave it, I’ll clean it up after we’re done.” She explained.

“Why make a mess in the first place?” He asked.

“So I can tell you your future.” She said before picking the cup back up.

“My future?” He questioned. “Why didn’t you do this before, nana?”

“Because you never asked.” She answered as she looked inside the cup. “Ah, look.” She put the cup back on the table, right side up this time, and slid it over to Shen. He looked inside but all he saw were clumps of black tea leaves.

“I don’t see anything,” He said, disappointed.

“Yes, you do. You just don’t know how to understand it.” Tashi explained. “At the very bottom, there is an acorn. Can you see it now, Shen?” He looked back into the cup but there wasn’t an acorn inside.

“Nana,” Shen gave the goat an ugly look. “Stop messing with me.”

“I’m not messing with you. Look at the leaves.” Looking back inside once again, he glanced over all the clumps of leaves. At the bottom, he found that the clump was vaguely shaped like an acorn.

“I see it! I see the acorn!” He exclaimed.

“Good. What else do you see?” She asked.

“Uh,” Shen stared into the cup for a while. “I think it’s a box and a spider.”

“Close,” Tashi chuckled before continuing. “It’s a door and a hand.”

“Oh,” He lowered his head, embarrassed by his mistake.

“The acorn means improved health, while the door means opportunity and the hand means friendship.” She explained before sipping at her own tea again.

“Huh? Really?” He immediately perked up.

“Mhm, that’s your future.”

“So I’m going to get better soon?” 

“That’s what the leaves say.”

“I hope they’re right,” Shen looked down at the wet leaves with a smile. “Because then I can see more of the city!”

“Yes, it seems the New Year is bringing you lots of luck.” Tashi smiled warmly at the peacock. “Well, if you’re ready, we can continue our walk now.”

“Actually, nana,” He set the cup down and placed his hands in his lap. “I wanted to talk to the wolves again before we left. Is that okay?” Tashi seemed a bit surprised by this request.

“Of course, dear. Are you sure you’re okay with that though?”

“Mhm,” He nodded with a smile.

“Very well. I’ll stay and watch from here, you just call if you need me.”

“Thank you, nana!” Shen said, jumping out of his seat and running over to hug the goat. She returned the hug before pushing him away playfully.

“Run along now!”

“Okay!” Shen skipped over to where the wolves were seated, talons clacking against the cobblestone. “Hello again, wolves.”

“Hi, little lord!” The girl waved to him, standing up in her seat.

“Li, sit down!” Her mother snapped from across the table before looking at Shen. “Can I help you, young lord?”

“I just wanted to talk to Zhong and Li, Mrs. Wolf. I want to answer their question so maybe we can be friends.” Shen answered, putting his wings together and fidgeting with his feathers.

“Oh, yeah! I want to be your friend!” Zhong shouted, tail wagging.

“Me too! Being friends with royalty is good luck, yeah?” Li added, looking to her mother for an answer.

“Who told you that, Li?” Her mother questioned with a laugh. She turned back to Shen to give him an answer. “Please, don’t feel pressured to give them an answer, my lord.”

“I don’t feel pressured, Mrs. Wolf. I want to tell them!”

“Okay… Zhong, Li, be nice to the young lord, or else you won’t get midnight cake.”

“Mom! That isn’t fair!” Zhong argued.

“Life isn’t fair!” She retorted, the hair on her back standing up. “Just be polite and you won’t have to worry about it.”

“Yes, mama!” Li said, jumping down from her chair.

“Li understands, why don’t you?”

“Ugh,” Zhong groaned as he stood up. “Yes, mom.”

“Come with me, little lord!” Li said, grabbing one of Shen’s wings and dragging him after her as she ran. He struggled to keep up with her but he didn’t pull away. He wasn’t sure where she was taking him but it happened to just be across the street. They hopped up the stairs to an elaborately decorated building that Shen didn’t recognize and stopped once they reached the landing. Li let go of his wing and Shen took a moment to catch his breath. He put a wing on his chest as if trying to calm his heart down by force.

“Huh? Are you okay?” Li asked.

“What’s wrong with him?” Zhong asked as he caught up to them.

“I don’t know. We just ran a little and he’s tired.” Li said.

“Well, he _is_ sick,” Zhong added before putting a paw on Shen’s shoulder. “It’s okay, we won’t run anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Shen said between pants.

“Huh? Don’t be! It’s okay!” Zhong smiled at him, trying to reassure him. Soon enough, Shen was breathing normally again.

“I get tired easily.” He explained coyly.

“I can tell,” Zhong said.

“Don’t be rude, Zhong!” Li shouted.

“I’m not!” Zhong shouted back before settling down and looking back to Shen. “So why are you white? It’s because you’re sick, right?”

“Yeah,” Shen nodded, looking a little sad.

“Please, don’t cry again, little lord,” Li said.

“I won’t.” He said, but it sounded like he was trying to reassure himself more than he was her. “And call me Shen, please.”

“Shen,” Li repeated before nodding. “Got it!”

“What kind of sickness makes you all white?” Zhong questioned. “I’ve never gotten sick like that.”

“It’s not something you can catch. I was born like this.” Shen explained, showing them his wings. “My parents are all kinds of colors but I’m just white.”

“And black.” Zhong pointed out.

“Well, we’re both just one color too!” Li commented, pointing at herself and her brother. “We’re just gray, and that’s fine.”

“But we’re supposed to be gray,” Zhong said, unimpressed.

“Zhong, stop being rude!” Li shouted, smacking him over the head.

“Agh! Hey!” He snarled at his sister, holding the back of his head gingerly. “That hurt!”

Shen watched this all unfold and started to giggle. He tried to stay quiet and hide his laughter with his wings but he looked like he was shaking.

“Shen,” Li said, sounding concerned. “Are you crying again?” He looked at her before bursting out into full-on laughter.

“Huh? Hey! Don’t laugh at my pain!” Zhong shouted at him.

“I’m sorry!” Shen apologized before continuing to laugh.

“Well, it is funny,” Li said, starting to giggle a bit herself.

“This isn’t fair! You two are ganging up on me.” Zhong pointed out, annoyed.

“Yeah, yeah, stop whining like a baby.” Li crossed her arms and gave her brother a judging look.

“Now, you’re the one being rude!” He shouted.

“Mom said not to be rude to Shen. She didn’t say anything about being rude to you.” She pointed out with a smirk.

“Why, you!” He snarled and rushed towards her. Li shrieked in joy and narrowly dodged her brother as he lunged at her. She grabbed Shen’s wing again and tugged at him to follow her.

“Sorry, but we’re going to run again!” She gave him a smile before running down the stairs, dragging him along after her.

“Ah, wait!” Shen cried, once again struggling to keep up with her pace. They ran into the street, causing an antelope to trip over them and drop his basket.

“Hey!” The antelope shouted at them.

“Sorry!” Shen apologized to the antelope as they continued to run. As he was looking back, he saw Zhong jumping down the stairs. The wolf pup hopped over the poor antelope and chased after Shen and Li.

“I’m gonna get you!” Zhong shouted playfully.

“No!” Li cried exaggeratedly. “Hurry, little lord, or we’ll be eaten by the Nian!”

“The Nian?” Shen asked between pants. They had only been running for a few seconds and he was already getting tired.

“You must create your famous fireworks and scare him off!” Li explained, glancing back at the peacock.

“What? I’ve never made fireworks before!” Shen shouted, worried.

“It’s pretend, silly!” Li said, laughing. “Ah, hurry! He’s catching up!” Shen glanced back and, sure enough, Zhong was hot on their tails. They weaved in and out of the passersby and around vendor stands.

“If he’s really the Nian,” Shen started, struggling for breath. “Shouldn’t he be afraid of the color red? He won’t hurt us.” 

“You’re right!” Li said before stopping in her tracks. She turned to face her brother with an air of confidence around her. “Silly Nian! You will not eat us.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure!” Zhong played along. “I can always close my eyes while I chew you up.” He covered his eyes with his paws.

“Ah, I didn’t think about that!” Li admitted. “Little lord, please, you must scare him away with your fireworks.”

Shen didn’t reply.

“Little lord?” Li looked back to find Shen collapsed to the ground. “Shen!”

“Huh? What’s wrong?” Zhong asked, uncovering his eyes. “Oh!”

“Shen!” Tashi shouted from nearby. She ran over to the children and kneeled beside Shen, pulling him into her lap. “Shen! Are you okay?” He didn’t respond but he looked up at the she-goat and smiled.

“Auntie, is he hurt?” Li asked, leaning over to look at Shen.

“He’s just tired, dear,” Tashi said, but the worry in her voice wasn’t helping to reassure her.

“Sorry,” Shen whispered. He was breathing hard and every breath was shallow and painful. His chest felt tight and his heart was beating against his ribs. He closed his eyes to focus on breathing normally but then everything faded away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shen was born with leucism which is a genetic mutation that causes an animal to have splotches of color or be entirely white. The only part of the body that isn't affected by this is the eyes. 
> 
> Shen also suffers from asthma as a child but it lessens as he grows older.
> 
> He has a weakened immune system and gets sick easily.


	3. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shen shares dinner with his parents before traveling back into the city to light fireworks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize that this chapter took me so long to publish. School is such a great pain. I hope you're all staying safe and keeping hydrated. And I hope you all have a lovely October!
> 
> Thank you to my friend, Ren, for beta reading this chapter! I greatly appreciate it!
> 
> If you're interested in becoming a beta reader, message me on Tumblr @gomimizu.

Shen’s room was dimly lit, the only remnants of light filtering through the paper windows. The sun was setting at this point and it was just at the right angle to shine on the peacock’s closed eyes. He shielded his eyes with his wing as he was roused from his sleep. He glanced around his chamber and was surprised to find that he wasn’t alone. Tashi was sat in the far corner, mixing herbs together in a mortar. She glanced up at him and gave him a soft smile.

“You gave everyone a scare,” She said, moving the crushed herbs into a teapot.

“I’m sorry,” Shen replied, looking down with shame.

“It’s not your fault, Shen,” Tashi stood up and walked over to his bed, holding the pot with one hoof and a cup in the other. “I’m glad you’re not hurt. Here, drink this.” She poured some tea into the small cup before handing it to the peacock.

“Thank you, nana,” Shen took the cup carefully, holding it with both wings. He blew on it a couple of times before taking a cautious sip. He almost immediately spat it back out. “What is this?”

“Yerba mate*,” Tashi answered. “It’s a bit bitter so I added lemon balm to help the flavor. I guess you noticed regardless.” She chuckled after explaining.

“Do I have to drink it?” He asked, giving the tea a look.

“If you want to get better, yes.” She walked back to the table she had been seated at before and set the pot of tea down. Shen looked at the tea with disdain. There was no debate over him wanting to get better. But he hated how bitter the tea was.

_It’s worth it, in the long run._

Shen took a deep breath before quickly drinking the tea. He made a face once he was done that made Tashi laugh.

“Nana, it’s not funny!” Shen scolded the she-goat.

“Maybe not,” Tashi hummed. “You’re very overdramatic though.”

“That’s a big word,” He mocked her from before. Tashi laughed again. Then, there was a knock at the door and they both fell silent.

“Please, come in,” Tashi invited and the door slid open. There stood a wolf guard looking very out of place in his armor.

“Lord Peacock has sent for you, young lord.” The wolf explained, bowing to Shen. “I’m to escort you.”

“Ah, the reunion dinner*,” Tashi commented. “Best not to keep your parents waiting,”

“Oh,” Shen glanced over to the guard before nodding to Tashi. He stepped down from his bed and walked over to the she-goat before handing her his empty cup.

“I’ll see you after,” She said, placing the cup on the table.

“Okay, nana,” Shen smiled at her before turning to leave. He joined the guard at the door and bowed his head at the wolf before moving past him. Shen led the way out of the house, head held high. He always felt a bit strange parading around like he was more important than everyone else. But his parents and Tashi would tell him that he was. He didn’t feel that way but he could pretend pretty well when he had to.

_Hold my head high and keep my wings folded in front of me. Don’t talk to anyone unless I need something. Walk with confident steps._

Shen stopped when they reached the front doors and let the guard open them for him. The cold air seeped inside insidiously as Shen stepped out. The sun had settled below the castle wall, leaving the courtyard dark. The Tower of Sacred Flame was covered in the last of the day’s golden light and it almost looked as though it was ablaze. Shen stared up at it in awe as he walked towards his parent’s home.

It was only a short walk but it was always insisted that someone accompany Shen. He supposed it was because he was young or because he got sick so often. He had collapsed earlier that day after all. It was embarrassing though. It was one thing for Tashi to worry over him. It was another when every servant in the palace babied him.

They soon reached the threshold to Shen’s parents’ home. Shen looked over the red paper cut-outs that had been posted on the doors that morning. The wolf guard moved around him and opened one of the heavy doors for him. Shen stepped inside but not without giving the wolf a smile as he passed. There weren’t any rules against smiling at the servants. The wolf seemed a bit surprised by this though. But instead of saying anything, he simply bowed his head and closed the door.

“Young lord,” An antelope addressed him as she approached. “The lord and lady are waiting for you. Please, follow me.” She bowed deeply before standing up straight and turning on one hoof. She began to walk down a nearby hall and Shen followed her closely. The walls were made up of elaborately painted paper panels* with scenes that depicted the city’s history. There were paintings of the village that founded Gongmen, the attacks of the Nian, and the birth of fireworks. At the end of the hall was a large mural of the entire city as seen from across the harbor. Whoever had painted the piece obviously had an eye for detail. 

The antelope led him towards the mural and slid open one of the panels that made it up. Inside was well lit and Shen could partially see the end of his mother’s floral robes.

“My lord and lady,” She addressed the two peacocks who were seated inside the room. “The young lord Shen has arrived.” She stepped aside and let Shen walk in before sliding the door shut.

“You’ve certainly kept us waiting,” His father said before sipping from his cup of tea.

“Have a seat, Shen.” His mother motioned across the table. Shen did as he was told and sat across from her. A goose that had been standing on hand quickly came over and poured him a cup of tea. Shen thanked him quietly before he went back to stand against the wall. 

Dinner hadn’t been served yet and so the table was empty save for the pot of tea and their respective cups. Shen hoped that they hadn’t waited for him for too long but there was no real way of knowing. He could ask but he got the feeling that maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. The silence between them was thick and it was only growing with the seconds. Fortunately, something came in to break it.

A parade of servants walked into the room carrying several platters of different dishes. Each one was laid out on the table carefully, leaving ample room in the center for the final piece: a hot pot. A large boar carried the heavy metal pot into the room and unceremoniously placed it on the table. The couple of ducks that had been following him placed hot coals inside the middle of the pot and poured broth in the ring. Then as quickly as the servants had come, they left.

"Let's eat," Shen's father said rather unexcitedly. Shen's mother got to work on filling a small bowl with thin wheat noodles and vegetable broth. She then handed it across the table to Shen who carefully took it with both wings.

"Thank you," He said quietly. He stared down at the golden noodles and contemplated what they meant. Every piece of the meal had something greater to it, something to symbolize. At least, Tashi had said something like that one some time ago. 

"Shen," His mother said his name sternly and he looked up at her. "Eat before it gets cold."

"Yes, mother," He said, picking up his chopsticks and beginning to eat slowly. He really wasn't very hungry but it would be impolite not to eat. 

"I heard you visited the market today," His father started, picking at his own bowl of noodles. "How was that?" Shen perked up.

"It was fun! I met some nice wolves and we played together." He explained, happy to talk about his experience.

"Played?" His mother repeated, sounding curious. "What game did you play?"

"Ah, I'm not really sure." He admitted. "One of them pretended to be the Nian and chased us. It was kind of scary,"

"That's not any kind of game I've heard of before." His mother said before eating a long noodle.

"Maybe next time you should play something like Wei Qi or Mahjong*." His father added. "Your mother and I wouldn't want you to suffer from any additional... incidents." Suddenly the subject of the conversation became very clear and Shen felt sick with guilt.

"I know, I'm sorry." He lowered his head and seemed to shrink into himself.

"While I agree that it's good you're seeing more of the city, you need to be careful." His father continued, folding his wings into his lap. "You know better than anyone just how fragile your health is. You shouldn't take any unnecessary risks."

"Yes," His mother agreed. "You worried us so much today."

"I know,"

"Well, it's not really your fault." His mother continued with a sigh. "Tashi should have taken better care of you."

"I agree. She's getting impulsive with her decisions." His father added.

"I know we already spoke with her but maybe we should still consider someone else." His mother replied.

_Someone else?_

"I'm just not sure that finding a replacement would be such a good idea."

_Replacement?_

"She _has_ known Shen for a handful of years now..."

"Finding someone with anywhere near the amount of experience she has would be nigh impossible. I don't think we _could_ replace her even if we really wanted to."

"Please, don't get rid of Tashi!" Shen shouted suddenly, catching his parents off guard. "I know she did something bad but please don't get rid of her! It's my fault I got hurt today, not hers."

"Shen," His mother started but he spoke over her.

"I should have stopped playing when I knew I was getting tired. But I didn't want to disappoint anyone. It's my fault!"

"Shen!" His mother shouted making him recoil. She sighed. "We're not going to replace Tashi."

"You're not?" He asked, feeling a bit embarrassed now.

"It's true we're upset with your nanny but, as I said, there's probably no one in all of China with her level of experience." His father added. "You need to listen better."

"I'm sorry," Shen lowered his head once again.

"Now, I will say that I'm proud of you for standing up for someone you care about and admitting your faults. Though, it really wasn't necessary this time." His father continued and a long silence followed until his mother spoke.

"Enough worrying, Shen; eat your noodles." His mother said before placing more noodles into his bowl.

"Yes, mother," 

The rest of the meal was carried on in rather shallow spirits. There was little conversation between them as they ate but perhaps that was for the best. There really wasn't much for them to talk about anyways. Shen spent most of his time poking at his food and eating very slowly. Despite his small appetite, his mother continued to place more and more food in front of him. Maybe she had some hope that he would suddenly eat more, or perhaps it was just an empty gesture. It didn't really matter either way; he wouldn't eat much of anything.

Shen looked up from his barely touched meal as the door behind him slid open. The antelope that had led him to the room stepped inside and bowed to the noble family.

"My lord, the procession shall be fully organized within the hour."

"Ah, we should head to the temple then." Shen's father said, placing his bowl on the table. "We'll meet them at the gates."

"Yes, my lord." She replied before leaving the room.

"Shen, are you done eating?" Shen's mother asked.

"Yes, mother," Shen answered. He glanced at his small pile of food that she had given to him before looking back at her.

"Very well," She sighed.

"Oh, before we go," Shen's father stopped as he stood up. He pulled a red packet* from his left sleeve and held it out to Shen. "I almost forgot to give you this."

"Ah," Shen looked at the packet with surprise. He took it gently with both wings and bowed his head. "Thank you, father. I wish you a year of happiness."

"You're welcome," His father replied as he began to leave the room. Shen slipped the packet into his own long sleeve and stood up to join his mother at the door.

"Don't spend it all in one place, Shen." She advised, giving him a quick smile.

"I won't, I promise!" He replied, smiling back at her. He walked beside his mother as they followed his father out of the house. The guard that had escorted Shen was posted outside. Shen waved to him but he didn't seem to notice or, if he did, he didn't react. 

They continued through the courtyard, towards the tower. It was much colder now that night had fallen and Shen felt a chill run down his spine. Despite the end of the day, the beauty of Gongmen didn't falter. There were lines of hung lanterns running across the courtyard, connecting Shen's home with his parents'. Where lanterns couldn't be hung, they were attached to thin bamboo posts. The tower itself was illuminated from the inside, light pouring through its hundreds of windows. Everyone in the city could see it and anyone across the harbor or in the nearby farming villages could too.

The palace temple was located to the east of the tower and just a short walk from his parents' home. There were two wolves posted outside the doors holding bamboo sticks with lanterns hanging from them. They bowed to the peacocks before opening the heavy wooden doors for them. Shen followed his mother's lead and stepped over the threshold with his left foot. He then grabbed at her sleeve, feeling a bit nervous about the temple. He didn't visit it often but, when he did, it was always very important that he follow strict rules.

"Shen, don't cling to me," His mother scolded quietly. "You'll make me trip."

"I'm sorry, mother." He apologized, loosening his grip on her. 

The peacocks approached the altar placed against the back wall. There wasn't a monk in sight but there was someone else in the temple.

"Nana!" Shen shouted, excited to see the she-goat.

"Shh!" His mother hushed him, putting a feather to her beak. "Softly, Shen."

"I'm sorry," He apologized once again.

"It's good to see you, young lord," Tashi said, approaching the peachick and his mother. "Did you eat well?"

"Hardly," Shen's mother answered for him. "It's no wonder he's so weak; he barely eats a thing."

"Hm, I wouldn't be so sure, my lady," Tashi retorted. "He ate quite well this morning. And it may be my fault he didn't eat much this evening."

"What do you mean?" His mother asked.

"Nana made me drink nasty tea," Shen chimed in, tugging at his mother's sleeve.

"Yerba mate and lemon balm," Tashi explained. "To ease his condition."

"Ah, I see." Shen's mother replied before looking down at Shen. "Come and pray, then you can speak with your nanny some more." 

"Yes, mother," Shen said before looking at Tashi. "Wait for me, nana."

"Of course," She nodded her head and smiled.

Shen's mother led him to the altar where his father was waiting for them. He handed both of them three sticks of incense each before beginning to light his own with the candles placed on the altar. Shen watched as his mother did the same before following their example. The ends of the sticks caught fire and he waved them gently to extinguish the flame. Smoke began to lazily rise from the tips, reminding Shen a bit of a dragon. He held the sticks with both wings and looked to his parents for what to do next. They both had their eyes closed and were quietly praying, his mother silently mouthing words.

Shen followed suit and closed his own eyes. But then he wasn't quite sure what to pray for. He heard his mother mutter the word prosperity.

_Prosperity? That's a big word. But we have plenty of prosperity. I guess it's so we can keep it. It would be bad if we lost it. Mother's already asking for that though so I should ask for something else. Oh, I know! My health. Please, give me better health this year. If it's not too much trouble. I mean, nana already told me I would get better so maybe I shouldn't pray for that? But asking doesn't hurt, right? Please, give me better health. I want to be able to visit the market more often and maybe even go outside of the city! And I want to be able to see my friends again. And play without getting sick! Please, and thank you!_

Shen opened his eyes when he was done and glanced over to his parents. They were still praying.

_Maybe I should pray some more? But I don't really have anything else to ask._

He patiently waited for them to finish by spending his time twirling his incense around. He drew vague shapes in the air, watching as the light of the ember made faint trails. 

"Shen," His mother said in a voice just above a whisper. "Are you done praying?" Shen looked up at her with a smile and nodded.

"Are you done _playing?_ " His father added, giving him a stern look. Shen lowered his head but didn't reply.

"Come along," His mother said with a sigh.

They carried their incense out of the hall and towards the entrance. There, on either side of the entryway, sat big cauldrons filled with the ashes of burnt-out sticks standing up inside. The peacocks each placed their own sticks into the ash and made for the doors. Tashi was waiting for them there and graciously opened one of the doors for them. She let the lord and lady pass before joining Shen at his side.

"Why so glum?" She questioned, noting the peachick's downtrodden expression.

"Nana," Shen started, fiddling with his sleeves. "Are you sure?"

"About what, dear?"

"About my parents loving me." Tashi was taken aback. She stopped in her tracks and looked Shen in the eye.

"Shen, why do you question their love?" Her tone wasn't accusatory, just genuinely confused and concerned.

"They never seem pleased with me. I always make them worry over me, or I make them upset by doing something wrong. I don't mean to be a bad child." Shen admitted, words a bit strained as he tried to hold back tears.

"You're not a bad child, Shen." Tashi started, cupping his face with a hoof. "You're just a child. A child who's still learning. Of course, you're going to do some things wrong; everyone does. Even I do, as unbelievable as that is." She joked, coaxing a small laugh out of Shen.

"Nana, be serious," He scolded with a small smile.

"What I mean is that just because you worry them or upset them doesn't mean they don't love you. In actuality, that shows that they care just that much more about you. They want you to take care of yourself and learn the difference between right and wrong. They may say things a bit harshly and they may not be upfront with their feelings, but they do love you." Tashi explained reassuringly.

"I see," Shen said in a quiet tone. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, dear. It's okay to question things." Tashi gave him a soft smile before changing the subject. "Now, let's hurry! You don't want the procession to leave without you, do you?"

"Ah, no!" Shen cried, head perking up.

"Come on, then!" Tashi began to walk away quickly, leaving Shen to catch up with her.

"Nana, wait for me!"

The procession consisted of a large marching band, a lion dance troupe, a dancing dragon puppet, ribbon twirlers, flag bearers, several dozen guards, and three elaborate palanquins for each member of the noble family. They set off into the city, the noise attracting onlookers and drawing people out of their homes. A few people lit firecrackers to show their cheer while others threw finely cut paper out of their windows. And as they passed through the streets, more and more people began to trail behind them. They were led through a large wutomen* and into one of the many subdivisions of the city. They were making their way towards the harbor where a grand fireworks display had been set up earlier that day.

All the way there, music echoed off the walls of the buildings lining the wide streets. The dark of night was warded off by thousands of red lanterns strung across on ropes crisscrossing the street or hanging off the curved eaves of houses. The rich scents of stinky tofu, wonton, and fried noodles lingered in the air as the street vendors continued to cook. It was deafening, blinding, and suffocating all at once, and Shen loved it.

It was so rare that he ever got to go this far into the city and rarer to be around so many people. If only he could participate firsthand in their celebrations; instead, he was stuck inside his palanquin and forced to simply watch and occasionally wave. Tashi was walking alongside him and the pigs that carried him. There were pieces of colorful paper caught in the curve of her horns and on her shoulders. She had a pleasant smile on her face, obviously enjoying herself. Shen tried to call out to her but his voice was lost in the noise. He wished he could walk with her instead of being carried but his parents would have none of that.

Soon enough, they reached a large open square near the harbor. It was an area of the city specifically designed for large gatherings such as this. It jutted out into the water and was overlooked by a small cliff that ended the main street. Two symmetrical, stone staircases led down into the square, and it was here that the procession split into two equal parts. Tashi left Shen's side and followed after his mother's palanquin while he was carried after his father. They joined again at the bottom of the stairs where elevated seating had been provided for the peacocks. The small stage was pushed back near the cliff and sat between the staircases but didn't crowd them. The palanquins were lowered and Tashi helped Shen step out of his before walking him up to his seat. He sat on the left of his mother and his father sat on her right. Tashi walked back down and stood at one side of the stage, looking towards the crowd.

As Shen and his parents were getting situated, the people that had been following them had funneled into the square. The performers had gathered near the center of the square and the guard filed in front of the stage and around the fireworks display near the water. The band continued to play, although softer, as Lord Peacock rose from his seat. The crowd was mostly quiet, though several people whispered to each other as they look on at the peacocks.

"Dear people of Gongmen City," the Lord started, gesturing widely to the crowd. "Tonight we celebrate yet another passing year. Our city has prospered greatly from all of your efforts; with caravans following the Silk Road and ships sailing to the Land of the Rising Sun. The wealth of your efforts flow through the canals and into the surrounding villages. All of us are able to enjoy and savor these things. And we will continue to. As this Year of the Rabbit comes to an end, we welcome the Year of the Dragon! A year of continued wealth!" As he finished, cymbals crashed together and the band began to play very loudly. Confetti was thrown from the balconies of the neighboring buildings, raining down onto the cheering crowd. The lion dance troupe began to parade through the crowd. Everything that was so still and quiet just a moment before was alive with joy. 

The celebrations carried on into the night as the waning moon rose into the sky. There were a few ships that set sail onto the harbor, the red light of their lanterns reflecting off the dark water. A few fireworks were set off from these vessels, creating colorful displays in the distance. The crowd turned their attention from the noble family to the fireworks. They sounded in awe as each one screeched up into the sky and exploded into quickly wilting blooms. Shen watched them quietly, sitting perfectly still beside his mother. They would light their own fireworks as soon as midnight was announced. 

"Little lord!" Shen heard a familiar voice cry out through the noise. He looked down to see Li standing in front of the guards that were posted by the small stage. She was smiling widely and waving frantically, tail wagging when he finally looked at her. Then Zhong squeezed himself out of the crowd with some effort. He ran to his sister's side and looked up at Shen, tongue lolling as he panted. The wolf guards glanced down at them but overall ignored them; how much harm could two pups do?

Shen waved at them with a small movement of his wing, trying not to catch his parents' attention. Though, his mother was already staring at the pups with confusion. She leaned over and whispered to Shen, "who are these two?" He hesitated to answer, worried as to what she might say.

"These are my friends," He looked at her to see what face she might make. His mother simply hummed her understanding and turned her attention away from them. Shen sighed a quiet breath of relief before smiling down at them, his friends. The two pups were now standing with Tashi and looking up at him with toothy smiles.

"The hour of midnight has arrived!" Someone shouted from the top of the cliff.

The lord and lady rose to their feet and Shen clumsily followed their lead. They stepped down from the platform and the guards filed into lines beside them. Tashi joined Shen's side and gave him a quick smile. They proceeded through the crowd and slowly made their way to the fireworks display across the harbor. As they were nearing the display, Shen was suddenly pulled into the crowd. He gave a cry of surprise and tried to pull away but stopped when he saw who it was. Li put a finger to her snout, motioning for him to stay quiet. Zhong was standing nearby, looking nervous. They were all so short, they disappeared into the crowd easily. Everyone's focus was on the fireworks and the procession of the lord and lady that they didn't pay the children much mind. At most, they were given a passing comment about watching their step.

"Wait," Shen cried. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see!" Li replied, glancing over her shoulder.

She dragged Shen behind her for the second time that day. Zhong held onto his other wing so he wouldn't lose them in the crowd. They weren't running, but the crowd was suffocating. Shen did his best to hold on to Li but he was starting to feel a bit hot and lightheaded. Fortunately, they reached the edge of the crowd and the cool air seemed to relax Shen. They walked to the end of the plaza, where the waves crashed against the stones. The tide was high and Shen thought that he could easily reach down and touch the water. 

Zhong let go of Shen and sat down, legs dangling off the edge and nearly touching the water. A wave crashed into the rocks, spraying water onto his fur.

"Ah, it's cold!" Zhong yelped and pulled his legs up.

"What did you expect? It's February, silly!" Li berated him, letting go of Shen to cross her arms.

"You sound like mom," Zhong huffed.

"Ah, I'm sorry," Shen piped in. "Why did you bring me here?" He should be with his parents, lighting the fireworks. He was happy to see his friends again but he didn't want to make his parents worry.

"Hm?" Zhong threw his head back and looked at Shen upside down. "Because it's the best spot to watch the fireworks."

"And because we want to share cake with you," Li added, pulling something out of her pocket. "I swiped some just for us!" She smiled as she unwrapped the thin paper to reveal small pieces of rice cake*. She handed the largest piece to Shen, ripping off a piece of the paper so he could hold it without getting it stuck in his feathers. He took it carefully, looking at it with wide eyes.

"Won't your mom get mad?" Shen asked suddenly.

"Not if she doesn't find out!" Li said with a mischievous giggle.

"We're never going to hear the end of it," Zhong sighed with defeat. They hadn't even been caught and he was already in low spirits.

"Don't be such a worrywart," Li walked over to her brother and handed him his piece of cake. She sat down beside him and looked down at the dark water.

"Your mom doesn't know you're here?" Shen questioned, stepping towards the edge of the plaza cautiously.

"She knows that we're here," Li answered, looking up at the peachick. "She _doesn't_ know that we're here with you."

"Dad does though," Zhong chimed in after licking his lips of any excess cake.

"Auntie is friends with him so she let us take you without any trouble!" Li said before giggling.

"Oh," Shen seemed to relax a bit. He was still worried about what his parents would do once they realized he was missing. But he was still in the plaza, and he could easily find them again. He sat down beside Li and looked out across the water at the ships. As long as Tashi knew where he was, everything would be okay, right? She would explain everything to his parents. But, what if she got into trouble again?

Shen shook his head as if trying to shake the anxieties out of his head. His parents already said that they wouldn't, that they _couldn't_ replace Tashi. He took a deep breath and tried to relax.

"Shen," Zhong called out.

"Hm?" Shen cocked his head at the pup.

"Are you okay?" Zhong continued as his sister glanced between them.

"I'm okay!" Shen answered with a smile. "Just a little worried."

"Huh? Why?" Li asked, looking concerned.

"What's wrong?" Zhong added.

"Nothing," Shen waved his wing at them as if to dismiss their concern. "I just don't want to upset my parents."

"Ooh," The pups said together.

"Well, parents get upset over stuff all the time, but they never stay mad for long!" Li explained before taking a bite out of her cake.

"Even if it does feel like forever," Zhong sighed before perking up. "If you get in trouble, just buckle down and deal with it. Sooner or later you can play again!"

"Yeah, enjoy the present!" Li added, mouth full.

"You sound very wise; you must get in trouble a lot," Shen said before laughing.

"It's Zhong's fault," Li said after swallowing.

"Hey! I'm not the one who kidnapped a noble!"

"I didn't kidnap him! He can leave whenever he wants to!"

Shen continued to laugh as the pups argued with each other. His worries were put to ease and he was actually starting to enjoy himself. He hadn't been able to participate in any of the celebrations until now. Even if all he could do was sneak off to share a piece of cake with his friends, it was better than just watching everyone else have fun.

The cry of fireworks soaring into the sky filled the air before several eruptions of light interrupted the inky blackness. Shen jumped at the sudden sound but quickly settled again. He stared up at the thousands of colorful sparks joined the millions of stars. He began to slowly eat his piece of cake and he couldn't help but smile. To think someone would risk getting into trouble just to see him and to share sweets with him, it made him want to cry with joy. He had gone so long without friends and now, all of sudden, here they were. Shen silently wished that this moment could last forever.

But all good things must come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yerba mate helps the respiratory system by clearing it up and boosting the immune system. Lemon balm also helps with these things as well as alleviate digestive problems. Yerba mate is quite bitter though.
> 
> A reunion dinner is held on New Year's Eve during which family members gather to celebrate. The venue is usually in or near the home of the most senior member of the family. This dinner traditionally features dishes of meat (pork, chicken, and fish) but I found this to be a problem given the nature of the KFP universe. Though it wouldn't be considered cannibalism for Shen to eat meat, it would definitely be seen as wrong and horrid. Even tiny prawns are considered people in this universe. So, everyone is inherently vegan (unless there are people selling milk and eggs which I doubt).
> 
> Shoji are sliding doors made of a latticed screen covered with white paper. Shoji is traditionally used in Japanese homes and is closely associated with the West's idea of Japan. However, shoji dates back to China in the Fourth Century B.C. This story takes place during the Tang Dynasty (618-907 A.D.) so I'm not sure how in style shoji would be. I'm having some trouble researching the interior architectural styles of this period. If I ever write something about this period that isn't accurate, please let me know!
> 
> Wei Qui (more popularly known as Go) is arguably the world's oldest board game. It originated in China around 4,000 years ago and was one of the four arts of the ancient Chinese scholar.
> 
> Mahjong is a game that is still very popular today. The modern version of the game wasn't developed until the 19th century. But there's a legend that Confucious himself invented the game in 500 B.C. However, the current game is inspired by a game called Ya Pei that was created during the Sung Dynasty (900-1279 A.D.).
> 
> Red packets are monetary gifts that are given during holidays and special occasions. Usually, they are given out on the first day of New Year's but they can be given to immediate family members during the reunion dinner.
> 
> During the Tang Dynasty, paifang (arched gates) were called wutomen (black top gates). Also during this time, city planning became very elaborate and this continued into later dynasties. For example, during the Ming Dynasty, Beijing had a total of 36 gates. These gates are very large and lead to subdivisions of a city or building complexes. Today, they are purely decorative.
> 
> In Southern China, people make Nian Gao (Year Cake) and share it with family and friends. It has been called Midnight Cake by the children in this story as they usually eat it around midnight.


	4. Words Better Left Unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shen makes a promise to see his friends again soon before returning home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Lunar New Year! It has been so long since the last update that another year has come around. I'd really like to work on this project more often. So, my current goal is to update this piece every other Friday starting today. This may change in the future as my college courses come first but I'm gonna try my best! 
> 
> For points in the story that have additional notes attached to them, I will be putting an asterisk (*) beside them. You can find these notes at the bottom of the page. It's not required you read these but they're there if you want more information on something! I've also gone back and added these to the previous chapter.
> 
> As always, I'd like to state that I am not Chinese and am not experienced with the culture. Everything I learn is from online resources which aren't always accurate. If you notice something that isn't culturally or historically accurate, please let me know! I strive to be as true to the Tang Dynasty as possible.
> 
> Also, I worked to better depict Shen's relationship with his parents in this chapter. I went back to the previous chapter and made a small edit for continuity's sake. At one point, Shen grabs his mother's wing but this has been changed to be her sleeve. Overall, his parents are almost deathly afraid to have physical contact with him. They believe that, in doing so, Shen's leucism will be transferred to them. Obviously, this isn't possible but they do not understand that given the time period.
> 
> This chapter is shorter than I hoped but I had to make sure this came out today! The next chapter will cover the rest of the New Year's celebration. From there, we can continue into the summer. Be safe and stay warm!

Once the fireworks had died out into faintly glowing embers and the crowd began to dissipate, a guard came looking for Shen. He stood a few feet away as he addressed the peachick. 

“My young lord, the lord and lady are preparing to leave.” He stated plainly, not daring to look at Shen directly.

“Already?” Li whined, glancing between Shen and the guard.

“My parents have plans for the following two weeks,” Shen explained. “They have to prepare for waking up Guan Yu and the Jade Emperor’s birthday and the Lantern-” Li cut him off by placing her paw gently on his beak.

“Important grown-up stuff,” She said with a smile.

“Will we see you again?” Zhong asked, looking over his sister’s shoulder. Shen thought for a moment, looking out over the black water. The boats had since disappeared into the night, and the lights in the villages across the harbor were few and far between.

“Tomorrow,” He said suddenly, turning to look back at the pups. “That’s when we get to visit our friends!”

“Oh, yeah!” Li exclaimed, tail wagging wildly.

“You can come to our house!” Zhong added.

“Yeah, mom would love to have you visit,” Li said before adding teasingly, “Little Lord.”

“Young lord,” The guard interrupted, looking a bit anxious. Shen glanced at him before standing up and straightening out his hanfu.

“I have to go now,” He said, looking a bit sad.

“We’ll meet you where we first met!” Zhong replied.

“And we can play games that won’t make you sick!” Li added.

“You promise?” Shen asked with a small smile.

“Of course!” The pups said, tails wagging.

“Young lord,” The guard insisted, glancing back at the palanquins. “We must get going.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Shen said with a quick wave before turning around and beginning to walk away.

“Bye, little lord!” Li shouted, cupping her paws around her mouth.

“Bye, Shen!” Zhong added, mimicking his sister. Shen looked over his shoulder before waving back at them. The guard walked along beside the peachick, looking increasingly more nervous as they approached the procession. Once they reached the line of guards keeping the crowd at bay from the nobles, the guard left his side and joined the troop. Shen glanced around before walking towards his palanquin. Tashi was waiting beside the ornate vehicle and she watched as Shen approached her with a slight smirk.

“Did you have fun?” She asked.

“Yes, nana, I got to see my friends again!” Shen answered. “And we shared cake and watched the fireworks together! I can’t wait to see them again.”

“And when will that be, dear?” Tashi asked as she helped Shen into his palanquin.

“I promised to see them tomorrow,” He explained as he got himself settled. “I thought we could go together.”

“Of course, I’d love to take you,” She said, smiling at him. There was a distant shout and the pigs, who had been waiting nearby, came and lifted the palanquin. There was another shout and the procession slowly started the journey back to the palace. The marching band kicked up and the dancers started to move along with the slow beat. They ascended the stairs carefully and, once they were on level ground again, the beat picked up. A number of the crowd followed after the procession while small groups disappeared into the backstreets. Everything was as lively as the hour before.

Once they entered through the palace gates, the music died down. The palanquins were placed on the ground and many of the servants began to retire. The guards stayed as well as the pigs. Tashi offered a hoof to Shen and helped him out of the vehicle.

“You must be tired,” She said before smoothing out the fabric of Shen’s sleeves.

“No, I’m not,” Shen replied before pointing out, “I slept a lot earlier.”

“That’s true,” Tashi put a hoof to her chin and began stroking her short beard. “Why don’t I make you some chamomile tea?”

“Can you read poetry to me too, nana?”

“Of course, dear.” She offered her hoof to him which he happily took. She began to lead him to his home when his mother called out.

"Shen," She called as she walked towards the pair. She looked worried and a bit angry. "Shen, where did you go? You disappeared during the ceremony! Did you get faint again? Or did someone grab you? You've worried your father and me so much today!" She sounded as if she was trying to comfort and scold him at the same time, her actions only adding to this confusing mixture. She looked him over quickly, searching for signs of rough play but found none. Her blue feathers ghosted over him but she never touched him directly. As worried as she seemed, she didn't dare to have physical contact with him. 

"Mother, I'm okay," Shen tried to reassure her. "I was just playing with my friends again."

"Your friends?" The mention of the pups just seemed to upset her more. Though, she turned her outrage to Tashi instead of her son. "You are supposed to watch over him! And yet you let him walk around in the cold and mingle with the street mongrels. He disappears into the night under your care and you seem amused by it. Can you not handle the simple task we've given you?" Tashi didn't falter in her reply.

"Perhaps not but at least I try." The she-goat held her smile as she spoke gently but her words were like a dagger. On the surface, it was a very humble reply. But, between the lines and past eight years, it was a subtle jab at the Lady Peacock. She'd entrusted her son to a stranger since the very day he was brought into the world. And, no matter how much she may have liked to, she couldn't deny it.

"How dare you," The peahen started but didn't continue. Tashi had left her lost for words.

"I'm sorry, my lady, did I misspeak?" Tashi was challenging her; would she deny it or give up? All of this was lost on Shen who stood between the women, pondering his mother's words. 

_Street mongrels? Is that what she thinks of them? But she didn't seem unhappy when she had seen them earlier. Is it because I ran off with them during the ceremony? They dragged me away but I could have left at any time. It was my decision not to participate in lighting the fireworks. And why is she yelling at Tashi? Is she upset with her because of me? But she should be angry with me, not Tashi! She didn't do anything wrong!_

"Mother, please!" He spoke up suddenly as he grabbed at his mother's skirt, much to her surprise. "Please, don't yell at Tashi! She just wanted me to have time to speak to my friends. She didn't do anything wrong so please don't yell at her. If you should be angry at anyone, it should be me! I'm the one that ran off during the ceremony and made you worry. I got sick because I wasn't careful even though I know my health is fragile. It's my fault you're angry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, mother," At this point, he'd worked himself up and started to cry. He buried his face into his mother's skirt as he continued to mumble his apologies. His mother was dismayed by this, lifting up her wings to avoid grazing him. 

"Very well," She said, sounding almost desperate. "Just let go of me!"

Shen looked back up at her, puzzled by her words. She looked afraid, no, petrified. What had scared her so? Was she worried she'd get sick from him? He stepped away from her quickly. He didn't want that for her.

Tashi placed her hooves on his shoulders to steady him. Her smile was long gone and now, in its place, she wore a sorrowful expression. Shen's mother stood in silence as she tried to calm herself. There was nothing left to be said.

"Let's retire, Shen," She said softly, leading him with a protective arm. They turned away from his mother and continued towards the house. Once inside, Shen realized how cold he was. The warmth of the house left him feeling numb. Tashi carefully guided him to his room without a word between them. She only let go of him once she turned to slide the door closed. Shen stood still, lost in thought and impassive. Concerned, Tashi guided him to his bed and sat him down gently. She knelt down to better see his face as she spoke.

"Shen?" She cocked her head to the side as she waited for a response. When none came, she continued. "I'm sorry that I said the things I did. It was not the place or time for such a confrontation. And I'm sorry that you had to step in. You're still just a child; it's not your responsibility to mediate us. But I'm glad that you did. You're very self-sacrificing which is a good trait, in moderation." She cupped his face gingerly. Finally, Shen spoke.

"Mother is afraid of me," He said quietly. Tashi hesitated.

"No," She started. "She's afraid of your illness. She's worried she will get sick and become too weak to fulfill her role as a mother and wife."

"Father too, then? Is he afraid of getting sick?"

"I think he is. If he gets sick, it will be very hard for him to properly govern the city."

"What about me? Will I not be able to properly govern?"

"Nonsense," Tashi replied with a smile. "You're getting better every day. By the time you take the throne, you'll be the strongest peacock in all of China." Shen returned her smile but it faded quickly. Tashi scrambled to find a way to bring it back.

"Would you still like for me to read to you?" She asked after a moment. Shen shook his head. "What about tea?"

"No, nana," Shen said. "I'll be okay without it."

"Are you sure?" Tashi looked concerned.

"I think so," He nodded slightly.

"If you change your mind, don't be afraid to tell me." She said as she stood up slowly. "Let's undress you and then I'll leave you be." Shen nodded and hesitantly stood up. Tashi slowly untied his belt and wound it up before setting it aside. Then, she removed his outer robe to reveal the Zhong Yi* beneath. She folded the garment carefully and, along with the belt, brought them to the cabinet against the wall. Once everything was in its proper place, she returned to help Shen to bed. She covered him with several layers of blankets, made sure he was comfortable, and said her goodbyes after blowing out the candles. She left him alone in the dark and retired to her own room.

Shen struggled to fall asleep as he thought back on everything that had happened today. He wondered if he'd be able to keep the promise he'd made to his friends. He worried that his parents would find someone to replace Tashi. Would he get his parents sick? Was he really getting better? By the time he fell asleep, dawn was breaking on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanfu (汉服) is a term used for the historical styles of clothing worn by the Han People of China. ziseviolet (via tumblr) has been very helpful in explaining the different styles of hanfu to me and many others. Considering the peacocks' status as mayor of Gongmen City, their clothing would be much finer than those of the common people. As such, Shen and his father are most likely wearing Shenyi (深衣 - deep garment). Shenyi is usually only worn at Confucian rituals or by people entitled to wear them. In the movie, Shen appears to be wearing a Zhiju (直裾 - straight hem robe) which is a type of Shenyi.
> 
> Zhong Yi (中衣 - middle clothes) are the undergarments worn under hanfu. Below this layer is Nei Yi (汉服 - inner clothes).


End file.
